what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize