im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
