Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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