fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
