I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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