butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize