I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize