There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
