I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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