I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
