We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
