Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
