Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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