Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
