I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
