She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
