perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
