Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize