Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
