need another drink. this is the easiest way
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
