I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
