i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
