two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
try to milk me bitch
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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