Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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