worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
