is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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