He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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