I'm jealous of your bromance
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
