lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
