That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
