who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well I just put wine in my tea
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
