On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Randomize
