party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We named our party play list daddy issues
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
