I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
