I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
