singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
