i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
