did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We are two peas in an std pod
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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