I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
