is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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