Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize