He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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