it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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