And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
