"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
