i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
