you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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