just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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