the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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