You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize