I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Michael Bay diarrhea
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
