My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
