Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
