I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
