apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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