To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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