You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
