omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
