yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
