i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
