My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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