Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize