awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The air was thick with penises
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
