How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
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