last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize