Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
