we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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