its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
