I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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