google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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