Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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