Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
