I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
