so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
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