It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
