Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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